-The Light Bulb-
Today, inventions are made daily, with lab-coated lab
technicians springing to their feet, light bulbs a-flashing in their
-The Cotton Gin-
If not for a snarky comment from his wife, Eli Whitney would never have created the cotton gin and would have most likely stuck to regular gin. The groundbreaking device, which revolutionized the American textile industry and helped set into motion Southern slavery, began life as a seemingly innocuous complaint on the behalf of a lowly cotton farmer. “These damn cotton plants are so sticky”, bemoaned Eli. The petulant retort that he received changed the textile world forever. “Well if it’s so sticky, E-li, why don’t you just invent the cotton gin?”
Recent musical innovation has come mainly through the combination of formerly monolithic institutions. Pop rock, hip pop, jazz hop, the Peter Frampton guitar-Camelbak thing, the gong-olin – all stemmed from the successful melding of two worlds. In a moment of groundbreaking foresight, the Punch Bowl sound technicians, creative science types with chiseled features all, gave the world the first three way hybrid. The keytarmonica sounds as though baby angels were serenading unicorns in Heaven’s VIP lounge.
-The Juicetronic 1600-
A devoted Ron Popeil disciple, Anthony Dellavalle set out in 1998 on a noble quest – the more thorough blending of fruits and vegetables. The US Patent Office doubted him. They sent several affidavits instructing Dellavalle that his plans were infringing upon the trademarked products of PopeilCo, Inc, and that he was to desist immediately, but Dellavalle’s genius could not be restrained. In a move that rocked the world and altered the path of modern juicing, Dellavalle increased the former capacity of ‘juice-itudity’ by upping the ante from 1400 to 1600. That’s 200 full points. The world thanks Dellavalle, from the depths of its juice-filled heart.
By CS Van Orden