all for coming. I've brought you all here today to discuss what has now
become an urgent and pressing danger to our environment. As of today,
December 18, 2007, we are in danger of a global catastrophe. Recent
studies have shown that "game" levels are nearing depletion. Gentlemen- if
we don't stop mackin' on bitches, we will run out of game by 2010, causing a
world-wide crisis as smokin' hot babes run rampant, exhausting all of the
world's supply of low-carb snack bars and elliptical exercise machines.
The short-term solution, obviously, is to encourage alternative sources of game, such as being a musician, being famous, or having lots of money. Experimental game solutions, such as "loser-game", where a man wears girl jeans and likes "emo" music, are not sustainable solution, merely a disguised effort to get laid, and thusly still qualifies as "game", despite however pathetic and troubling they may appear to be. To avert the crisis, we must ration all these ass-getting efforts immediately and promote natural sources of attraction, such as having a personality, not being ugly, or actually being interesting. Dressing well, as simple as it sounds, can dramatically increase attractiveness without actually emitting "game". However, we should be careful- dressing too well will lead invariably to "Tom Brady" syndrome, in which a man in a naturally game-emitting position expends a catastrophic amount of game by dressing like a foppish dandy, causing irreparable damage to the babe supply. Brady himself has already plowed through two mad hot bitches, and will proceed to exhaust our game supply if he continues on this relentless pace to rail respectable, if not admirable, pussy.
of you won’t listen. Some of you will
continue to mack it and smack it, but you will remember my words when one day,
maybe the day after tomorrow, you look at the polar ice-caps and they’re just
covered in miles of sausage. Your job,
your bars, your wife-all sausage, all the time. You’ve been warned. Thank you for
By an unsustainable Michael J. Weingarth