Why You’ve Waited Till The Last Minute To Go Xmas Shopping

1. Hate decisions, like to wait until only one gift is available for purchase
2. Seasonal Affectation Disorder prevents you from caring about in-laws too much
3. Honestly, just been pretty drunk lately
4. Allergic to planning
5. Really like hysterical crowds of selfish consumers
6. Waiting for joints to ache, like they always do when bargains are near
7. Didn’t realize knitting an X-Box 360 would take so long
8. Just converted from Judaism on Tuesday

By Michael J. Weingarth